13 lessons I learned by 31
The big 3-1...
This past weekend I turned 31 in a blink of an eye. On one hand I'm saying "where did the time go??" and on the other I'm feeling grateful for all the adventures and opportunities I've had so far. When I was a teenager dreaming about my life in my 30s, I never imagined I would still be this heavy into figuring out what I wanted from my career, my relationships and myself.
Here are 13 of the biggest life lessons I've learned in my 31 years...
1 | Embrace the journey
As I entered my late-20's I quickly realized that life is about the cyclical journey of dreaming, learning, and tweaking. Repeat. There is no end result; no "I've made it!" - moment.
2 | Healthy boundaries attract healthy people and opportunities
It's not easy to say no when you feel like saying yes, but if you want to avoid unhealthy codependent habits, the classic narcissist or the boss that calls you at home to complain, you must clarify your personal boundaries and stay loyal to them.
3 | Let go of the wrong things to make room for the right
This includes someone you love. If having someone in your life is not helping you be the best version of yourself it's best to let them go. You will only be helping them grow while valuing your own personal growth journey. Don't settle or make something what it is not. We all have relationships for a reason, season or lifetime. It's up to us to understand when it's time to close a chapter to make room for something better suited for the next season of life.
4 | Date yourself before dating someone else
If you're constantly asking yourself if someone wants or loves you, you must first ask if you want and love yourself. Once you truly find the joy and desire to be with yourself than you can be ready to receive that same desire from someone else, otherwise you will always doubt someone's desire for you. Avoid a mess and get back to you. Plan some dates with your charming self.
5 | It's okay to break up with friends that don't allow you to be the best version of yourself
I had a really bad break up with a friend that I truly loved and still care for deeply. After a year of feeling like I couldn't be myself around her I decided it was better to stop letting myself be disappointed and just accept that we grew into different people at different season's of our lives. I wanted to make room for friends that accepted and inspired me to be the best version of myself.
6 | Educate yourself on how to recognize and change if you or people around you are being toxic
Growing up with toxic family members and verbal abuse didn't help me as an adult. I always knew that what I grew up with wasn't right, but I had to learn about what good healthy relationships looked like. It's okay if you don't feel like you're an expert at relationships or dealing with people, no one is. After learning some basic guidelines for navigating and attracting healthy relationships, I feel more confident.
7 | Happiness is in gratitude
Even when the sh*t hits the fan there are always amazing things happening around you.
8 | Less is more
When you realize you've got it all but are never happy that may be a sign to stop consuming and find gratitude in having less. Living minimally has made my life less stressful in so many ways. The less I have to manage, clean, or keep track of, the less clutter I have in my head.
9 | Realizing your dreams requires you to FIGHT for it
If you don't want to fight for what you want you may not really want it or you need to work on believing in yourself.
10 | Morning and night routines rock!
I lead with more intention and less stress when I take this time for myself. Read here about my fail-proof routine and how it helps me.
11| Choose your relationships wisely
Seems a little repetitive, I know, but that's because it's freakin' important!!! Relationships and health are #1 influences towards our success and mental health. Don't settle for friends, girlfriends or boyfriends that don't inspire, support and encourage you to live the life you deserve.
12 | Finished not perfect
Just like this post, there are many things I take forever writing or never published in my life because I didn't feel like it was at the standard I set for it, "perfect". What's that? No one knows. Because of this silly habit, I lost out on achieving my fullest potential in many areas of my life when I hesitated to put myself and my work out in the world.
13 | Close your eyes, ignore the nausea and face fear head on!
There are many more lessons that I've learned and continue to learn everyday. If I had to choose one lesson to learn sooner than all the rest it would be to face the fear of the unknown because nothing in life is perfectly planned, curated or as graceful as the movies. Don't stop living in the moment because you fear the unknown. You could miss out on some unexpected blessings.